A Christmas Carol: The Doomed Version
by Kat23a
Summary: I was FINALLY able to get on the computer on Christmas Eve, and just managed to finish it. It's now Christmas day, so, everybody at FF.net, consider this my holiday gift to you! (no matter if you celebrate Christmas or not. ^_^)
1. Uh...we didn't have a Marley, so we took...

NOTE: THE FOLLOWING SORT OF SCENARIO REGULARLY OCCURS AT MY HOUSE. THIS IS NOT MADE UP!!!   
*Another Note: If you didn't know, I have four younger sisters, all of whom appear in this disclaimer*  
  
  
Kat23a is standing in her living room, which is (as usual) covered in dolls, magazines, various pillows, books, ninja cows (my sisters invented them), half-eaten cookies, newspaper, and various family members. She is facing her youngest sister, Greta, who is sitting on the couch holding the remote control, but aiming it at Kat23a instead of the TV. Kat23a seems to be acting, dancing, and...singing?  
  
Kat23a: Hark how the bells, sweet silver bells, all seem to say-  
  
Greta: *pointing remote at Kat* BZZT!  
  
Kat23a: WINNIE THE POOH! WINNIE THE POOH! CHUBBY LITTLE-  
  
Greta: BZZT!  
  
Kat23a: Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, had a very shiny-  
  
Greta: BZZT!  
  
Kat23a: ELECTRO-MAGNETO-ENCEPHALO-THINGIE! AND IT CAN BE YOURS FOR ONLY-  
  
Hanna: *walking into the room and observing Kat* BZZT!  
  
Kat23a: *turning to Hanna* The Helicopter Noogie of DOOM! *begins chasing her*  
  
Greta: *throws down remote and attaches herself to Kat's right leg, squealing in joy*  
  
Ellie: *walks into the room, sees what is happening, and attaches herself to Kat's left leg* YESS! PILE ON KAT!  
  
Kat23a: NOOOO! I CAN'T MOOOOVE! *tries ineffectually to move her legs. Hanna observes this, and swaggers (yes, swaggers. My sister is EEEEVIIIIL!) back to Kat23a, smiling at Ellie and Greta*  
  
Hanna: Good work, my minions. Now, this one must relearn her place in this house....she must be TICKLED!  
  
Kat23a: *is REALLY ticklish* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *tries to jump away with two sisters attached to her legs. Hanna attacks, and as the ensuing sounds of pandemonium begin to drift towards the audience, Heidi, Hanna's good (though slightly ditzy) twin sister, walks in and stands in front of the screen*  
  
Heidi: I, like, want to say that Kat, like, doesn't own any Invader Zim stuff, even though I have, like, NO idea why she, like, watches such an /immature/ baby show, since I'm, like, younger than her, and I, like, would /never/ be caught dead watching a cartoon, but, like, anyway, don't sue her and stuff.  
  
Kat23a, Hanna, Ellie, and Greta have all stopped in the middle of the mosh-wrestle party on the floor and are staring at Heidi.  
  
Hanna: Um, Heidi? /WHY/ are you talking to the fireplace?  
  
  
  
-- ~ --  
A Christmas Carol: The DOOMED version  
  
  
  
The scene was Christmas Eve. Zim was on his way home from a necessary trip to the store. He was covered in over twelve layers of clothes (three of them heavy coats), even though it was only cold enough to have the lightest layer of snow on the ground. He resembled nothing so much as a fat stick of bologna as he waddled back towards his house. On his way, he waddled past Zita and Aki playing on an icy playground. Because it was so close to Christmas, Zita decided to actually do something somewhat approaching /nice/ to Zim.  
  
Zita: Hey! Merry Christmas, Zim!  
  
Zim simply growled at her as he hurried past the two. Softly, they could hear him muttering something about "Idiot snow fleas" and their "pathetic holidays".  
  
Aki looked at Zita and said, "Boy, what a grinch."  
  
Zita glared after Zim and replied, "Yeah, see if I ever do anything nice for /him/ again."  
  
Zim continued to growl and grumble to himself as he made his way back. He had only gone out when it was absolutely necessary ever since this stinging white stuff had started falling from the sky. It seemed to be similar to rain, but instead of just disappearing after a day or two, this stuff /stayed/. He had been able to get further on his experiments, but he could not do any crucial observances on the human race ever since skool had closed last week. In fact, he could not make /any/ progress on the invasion as long as this white stuff was around. He was sorry to admit it, but he almost wished skool was back in session. At least then he would have something to /do/ besides remain stuck in his base all day with Gir. Zim had been getting edgier and edgier lately, and he had been taking it out on the poor robot. And then this /holiday/ stuff had started popping up....Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, New Years, Happy Birthday (he didn't know much about Earth holidays, and had seen a birthday party). THAT was just the klifurn on the frumz. He just couldn't wait for all this human nonsense to be over with.  
  
Zim sighed. As he walked in the dimming light of the sunset, he glanced in the windows of houses he passed. In one house, a dark-skinned human family lit black, red, and green candles while smiling. In another, a type of beautiful golden candleholder, this one with more candles, was lit by a beaming brown-haired girl as her parents looked on. In another, small children put stockings up near a roaring fireplace. (A/N: I KNOW I have the dates wrong for all the various holidays, but I choose to ignore that. My universe, my rules. ^_^) Zim snorted and looked away. What was it with these pyromaniac monkeys and all their candles and lights and fires anyway? He started walking past yet another house, then stopped. This house belonged to the Dib-human. Dib hadn't been bothering him as much lately. Surely /DIB/ couldn't have fallen for the ridiculous stink-baby holiday scheme.....right? Zim decided to see for himself. He snuck up to the closest window of Dib's house, carefully avoiding all larger patches of snow. Inside, he could make out Dib standing on a rickety stepladder while trying to put a Professor Membrane- angel at the very top of a decorated tree. Near the bottom of the tree, Gaz was playing her Gameslave with one hand and shaking a box with her name on it with the other hand, trying to figure out what was in it. Zim snorted. Pitiful stinking humans. He quickly continued on his way before either of the two noticed him. Of /course/ Dib fell for the inferior human holiday scheme. A worm-baby like Dib probably couldn't even /live/ without some pathetic holiday. The great ZIM, however, was an Irken Invader, and Irken Invaders needed NOTHING, especially not some stinking human holiday. This in mind, Zim continued to march...er.../waddle/ back to his nice, warm, DRY base.  
  
He finally arrived at his house. The only sign that this house even acknowledged the holidays was decaying brownish wreath that Zim had dug out of a garbage can and tacked on the door, in an attempt to seem like he was doing some human celebrating for the holidays. He waddled up the path to the door. As he approached the door, the sign on it that said "men" and had the men's stick figure on it slowly changed to say "doom", and the figure appeared to now be a silhouette of the head of a chihuahua... If Zim had noticed this, he would have most likely freaked out, but he was so bundled up that he could not see more than a strip at a time, and he definitely could not turn his head or lift it up to see the changed door. Zim simply slammed his way into the house and began stripping off layers of clothes. As he reached the last layer, he looked up and said, "Computer, dryer."  
  
A long tube descended out of the ceiling and began to blast hot air at Zim, erasing any last traces of water that might be clinging to him. As the tube finished and began retreating back into the ceiling, a loud screaming sound could be heard from the toilet in the kitchen. The sound grew louder and louder, and finally revealed itself to be a screaming Gir, who blasted out of the toilet and directly towards Zim's face.  
  
"YAAAAY! MASTER'S HOOOME!"  
  
"Gir, NO!"  
  
  
Gir tackled Zim to the ground and began screeching and hugging him. Zim, predictably, began yelling and rolling around, trying to throw off the insane robot. Gir suddenly sat up from his place on Zim's back and smiled down at Zim.  
  
"HAPPY NEW CHRISTMIHANUKKWANZA, MASTER!!!," he said. "I got choo a PRESENT!!! Wait here!"  
  
Zim gasped as Gir got off of him and he began to get up. He had no sooner stood than Gir jumped on him again, knocking him to the floor. Zim yelled and sputtered, and looked up just in time to have Gir shove a disgusting bowl of.../something/...in his face. Or more precisely, ON his face.  
  
Zim began to smoke and yelled "AAAAAAAAAAAAA! THE STINK!!! IT /BURNS/!!!!!"  
  
Zim knocked Gir off him in his desperate attempt to get the...the...whatever-it-was off his smoking face. He finally dove into the pile of clothes in front of the door and wiped his face off with them. When he had stopped smoking, he whirled on Gir, who was still holding the bowl and smiling.  
  
"Aaaaaaw, you liked it!," Gir crooned happily.  
  
Zim's eye twitched as he faced Gir.  
  
"Gir...what was that?"  
  
"A special treat, Master! I made it for yooooou! It had all your favorite things in it! Tuna, and piggies, and brainfreezys, and cleansing chalk, and pudding, and sugar, and pancakes, and Acne Blast, and-"  
  
Zim suddenly interrupted by screaming, "THOSE ARE /NOT/ MY FAVORITE THINGS!"  
  
Gir looked stunned, and his antenna drooped.  
  
"Don't you like it, Master?"  
  
Zim towered over Gir, and began yelling directly at the little robot.  
  
"NO, I did NOT like it, Gir! And what's more, I HATE these PATHETIC, FREAKISH, HUMAN WORM-BABY holidays! I cannot get any further in the invasion with all this human INSANITY going on, and even if there WERE no holidays, I wouldn't get any farther because of YOU, Gir! In fact, I think I would be doing MUCH better if YOU WEREN'T HERE AT ALL!"  
  
By the end of Zim's tongue-lashing, Gir was cowering on the floor, and his cyan-blue eyes were filling up with tears. Zim, still angry, ignored this and marched past Gir towards the toilet. As he reached it, he turned to the little robot and said, "I'm going down to the lab for the night. PLEASE don't follow me."   
  
Then, without another word, Zim descended to the lower levels.  
  
Gir stared in the direction Zim had gone for several more moments, still looking stunned, and then said slowly, "Master...master doesn't want me anymore?"  
  
The tears in his eyes spilled over.  
  
After a minute or two, Gir reached into his head and pulled out a rubber piggy. He looked at the piggy for a second, and then hugged it tightly. Then, he held it away again and said, "C'mon, pig. If master doesn't want us anymore, then we have to go away."  
  
Outside, the first flakes of a blizzard began to fall.  
  
~ --  
  
Below, in the labs, Zim went through a routine check of all the levels on his way to bed. He did it just to cool down as much as for security. How could that idiot robot even /think/ of celebrating the evil inferior monkey holidays? And making that disgusting concoction...Zim shuddered. Amazing that he hadn't gotten another monstrous pimple from that goop. In fact, it was amazing that-  
  
A creaking groan came from somewhere behind Zim.  
  
Zim whirled around immediately.  
  
"Who's there?"  
  
No answer. Maybe the Dib-human had seen Zim look into Dib's window and had followed him here. Zim brought the night-vision/telescope goggles out of his backpack and peered into the shadows. He still couldn't see anything.  
  
"Computer, run a scan for any unauthorized lifeforms in the labs," Zim ordered.  
  
Within two seconds, a deep voice replied, "No unauthorized lifeforms detected."  
  
"Hmmmm...," Zim said thoughtfully. Probably just his imagination. He continued his rounds.  
  
A few minutes later, a faint sound like toenails clicking on metal could be heard behind him. Zim whirled around again, goggles still on. Nothing.  
  
"Computer, run another scan."  
  
"No unauthorized lifeforms detected."  
  
"Hmm...maybe the scanner's broken...Computer, run a diagnostic on the scanning equipment."  
  
"All equipment is in perfect working order."  
  
Zim looked worried. If it wasn't the equipment, then what could it be? Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a shadow move. He turned quickly, but could see nothing. He began hyperventilating. There was another click behind him. Turn! Nothing. Uh...maybe he should just go to bed. Yeah, bed sounded good. The equipment was fine. Zim hurried off to his sleeping chamber, ignoring several other clicks, groans, and flitting shadows on his way.  
  
In his chamber, Zim settled down onto the soft cushions as the room darkened. Everything seemed much more /real/ here. Those clicks and groans were probably just his imagination. He had been under a lot a stress lately, and stress does strange things to any mind.... Zim's eyes began to close peacefully, then paused. It was getting chilly. Strange...the base was entirely temperature-controlled based on Zim's body heat... Zim opened his eyes in annoyance. Did he have to /manually/ change the temperature? And just when he was getting comfortable.  
  
"Computer, lights," Zim said.  
  
"Lights on," the computer replied, but the room stayed dark.  
  
"Computer, I /said/ lights."  
  
"Lights already activated."  
  
Zim sat up in the darkened room, annoyed.  
  
"Computer, there are no lights here. Activate visual sensors."  
  
"Visual sensors see no lights. Lights activated."  
  
The room remained dark. Zim sighed. Something must be broken. Now he would have to get up and....and....  
  
A soft blue glow came from the corner of the room. Zim stared at it. Normal Irken lighting was red or yellow...this was not from any of his systems. As Zim watched, the light grew brighter, and then a transparent blue figure floated through the wall. It looked like a ragged chihuahua with a row of stitches over one eye, covered in chains.  
  
Zim stared at it, his mouth hanging open.  
  
The chihuahua floated eerily.  
  
Zim stared at it, his mouth hanging open.  
  
The chihuahua floated eerily.  
  
Zim stared at it, his mouth hanging open.  
  
The chihuahua floated some more.  
  
Zim closed his mouth and stared at the chihuahua.  
  
The chihuahua floated.  
  
Zim stared.  
  
Chihuahua floated.  
  
Zim stared, scratching his head.  
  
The chihuahua floated some more, and then turned to the screen. It reached behind it, and then held up a sign that said, "Hey, author! I'm a dog. I can't talk."  
  
A mysterious voice came from the ceiling, saying, "I grant you the power of speech for one night."  
  
The chihuahua turned back to Zim, and cleared its throat with a strange choking sound. Then, in an eerily high scratchy voice, it said, "Invader Zim!"  
  
Zim stared at it some more, and then cautiously said, "Yeees?"  
  
The chihuahua again said, "Invader Zim!"  
  
"Yes, that's me."  
  
A third time, the chihuahua said, "Invader Zim!"  
  
Zim, now annoyed, said, "What?!"  
  
"Invader Zim, I am no ordinary dog!"  
  
Zim looked at the transparent glowing blue chihuahua, covered in chains and turning a slow somersault about four feet off the ground.  
  
"Oh, really? I hadn't noticed."  
  
Sarcasm was lost on the chihuahua, and it continued.  
  
"No! In fact, I am a GHOOOOOOST! I have been sent to give you a message from beyond the GRAAAAAAAVE!"  
  
Zim smiled nastily and said, "I don't believe I need any messages at the moment. Computer! Intruder Alert!"  
  
Alarms went off and lights began flashing. Robotic arms descended from the ceiling and began to gnash together threateningly. This went on for several minutes, but then the arms stopped and the lights and alarms went off. The computer's voice came back on.  
  
"Require further information on enemy's location."  
  
Zim looked surprised and indignant.  
  
"What?! Computer, it is /right there/! A dog, /right there/! Activate visual scanners!"  
  
"Scanners report Invader Zim only lifeform in the room. Should we run a mental health diagnostic?"  
  
Zim, outraged, shouted, "NO!"  
  
The chihuahua, still floating creepily, said, "Nobody else can see me, Zim. Only you. I have been sent to show you the true meaning of the holidays."  
  
Zim turned on the chihuahua and yelled, "WHY would anyone send me an Earth ghost to show me the true meaning of some ridiculous Earth holidays?! I'm not even /from/ Earth!"  
  
The chihuahua shrugged and said, "It's actually a pretty common occurrence, around here. Anyway, tonight, you will be visited by three-"  
  
The voice from the ceiling whispered, "Four."  
  
The chihuahua looked up and said, "Four? It's usually three..."  
  
The voice replied, "Just trust me. Four."  
  
The chihuahua shrugged again and said, "/Four/ spirits, from the past, present, and future. A new one will arrive each hour, on the hour. Pay attention to them, for they are your last hope..."  
  
The chihuahua began to fade, along with the sound of his voice.  
  
"Your last hope..."  
  
Zim stared as the blue light faded and then went out, leaving blackness and silence. He then settled back into the cushions, wondering if maybe that goop that Gir had smeared onto his face /had/ done something to him....  
  
Somewhere above, a little green puppy walked out into the rising storm.  
  
-- ~ --  
  
Ooookay, I'm going to leave the other story I'm working on (The Puppet Game) alone for a while, because this is more fun and seasonal, and because I'm suffering writer's block on The Puppet Game. I'm going to try to get this whole thing finished ASAP, but I have to write it on the only computer left in a house with six other people who want to use it, so it might be slow going. I hope you enjoy! *listens to somebody offscreen* Swimming? Really? OOOOOO! Just wait, I'll be done in a minute! *turns back to screen* Uh, my family's going swimming now, so I guess this story will have to be in chapters instead of all at once. I LOVE swimming. It's the only sport I'm good at! I even took a lifeguarding course!*someone offscreen yells at her, and Kat23a turns towards them* ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT! I'M GETTING OFF NOW, SEE? *turns back to screen* Gottagobye! 


	2. The Ghosts of Christmas Past

AAAAUHF! Gerrof muh, Heidi! .....No, it's /my/ turn for the computer now! ......Essay, shmessay. I saw you finish it already! You were playing with the Harry Potter screensaver, and now it's MY TURN! ......Alright, agreed. You get to play on the piano for the rest of the night without me annoying you, but /I/ get the computer without YOU annoying ME. .....Okay. Now leave. /Please./  
  
Okieee, sorry you had to see that, but now I'm ready to start the next chapter. I've been trying to get the computer all day. I did get good news about the status of my normal, personal computer though; they're gonna wipe the whole hard drive (but that's okay, I've already saved all the important stuff), put in new-and-improved programs, and give me MORE MEMORY!!! YIPPEEE! I've had to live with only 4 gigs of memory, which is /nothing./ I couldn't even download more than a few songs at a time. So, I'll be happy computer-wise when my computer's fixed. Until then, I have to share the family computer. Bleah. Anywayz, here's the next chapter! Enjoy! *listens to someone offscreen* Heidi?! I thought I told you to leave me- .....what /about/ the disclaimer? I'm /writing/ the disclaimer right n– oops. Um, Idon'townanyInvaderZimstuffitallbelongstothemightyJohenVasquezhuzzah. Okay? Okay. Now leave me alone, Heidi.  
  
-- ~ --  
  
Fifteen minutes later, Zim was sure that the chihuahua must have just been some sort of aftereffect of being dunked in that glop that Gir had made. There had been all sorts of human filth in it, and by now it was a proven fact that the garbage that humans considered food did reacted badly with the superior physiology of the mighty Irkens. One had only to remember Pustulio or the flesh-burning bologna for proof of /that/. With these comforting thoughts in mind, Zim settled down for a good nights sleep.  
  
Forty-four minutes later, a voice from the ceiling whispered, "You know, we really should have a bell ringing for every hour. I mean, there's /always/ been a grandfather clock, or a cuckoo clock, or even a WATCH, or something."  
  
The mysterious floating chihuahua appeared and said, "He doesn't have any bells. Everything here is digital."  
  
"What can you do with digital timepieces? I like bells."  
  
"Um...well, I think I can manage a nice, spooky beep."  
  
"Nuh-uh. Gimme bells. /Big/ bells."  
  
The chihuahua began to sweat nervously.  
  
"No, I think that a beep would fit the whole scheme we've got going here /much/ better."  
  
"I'm paying you, chihuahua-boy. Bells. /Now./"  
  
The chihuahua sighed and disappeared. A few moments later, it appeared, straining under a bell three times as big as it was. The chihuahua set it down in midair, backed up a few paces, then ran at it full speed and rammed the bell with its head. The bell gave a satisfying "GOOOOOooOOOoooOOOoonnnng," making Zim shoot straight up out of bed, and the chihuahua collapsed onto thin air, lying on its back.   
  
"Ooooow," it said.  
  
"Thank you," the voice from the ceiling whispered.   
  
The bell and chihuahua vanished, but as their light dimmed, another light, this one from the upper right corner of the room, began brightening. Zim, still shaking from the sudden bell-toll, didn't notice either the chihuahua or the new light until a sudden fanfare made him whip his head toward the new noise. The new light was dark maroonish in color, and was growing steadily brighter. Suddenly, with a hissing sound, thick clouds of smoke began pouring out from the ceiling. Zim started backing up at this. As the invisible orchestra swelled, bright red lasers began shooting out of the cloud of smoke. Slowly, the cloud lowered, lasers shooting, orchestra playing, to reveal...  
  
"M-m-my Tallests?" Zim whispered.  
  
Indeed, the two regally descending figures looked very much like the Tallests, except for the fact that they were both wearing red or purple tutus and had little wings. As they lowered, they raised their hands and waved at an imaginary crowd. When they touched groud, the sound of the invisible crowd cheering welled up around them, and they both bowed.   
  
Zim was slowly recovering from his shock, and he came forward a little as the two creatures began speaking to the unseen crowd.  
  
"No, really, you're too kind!"  
  
"Oh, you like me! You really like me!"  
  
"Thank you, thank you, you're too much!"  
  
"My secret? Oh, I have no secret, I'm just naturally beautiful!"  
  
Zim stared at the two posing figures continued to address the walls of his bedroom, and then spoke again, this time louder.  
  
"Uh...my Tallests?"  
  
The sound of applause suddenly stopped, and the two looked around in surprise, and noticed Zim. The purple one leaned down closer to Zim.  
  
"What did you say, short green creature?"  
  
Zim, completely baffled now that the two didn't recognize him, again said, "My Tallests?"  
  
The red one laughed, slapped the purple one on his shoulder and said, "Tallests?! Where'd you think he got THAT stupid name, huh Purple?"  
  
Purple yelled and fell to the floor when the red one had slapped him, dispersing some of the smoke and revealing that the two had been standing on a platform with a built-in special effects machine.   
  
He got up, hovering slightly above the ground on his ridiculously tiny wings, dusted himself off angrily, and replied, "I have absolutely no idea, Red." He turned to Zim and said, "We are the ghosts of Christmas past, here to show you all your past Christmases and what a good time you had."  
  
Zim frowned and said, "I lived on Irk in the past. There /was/ no Christmas. And if you're not the Tallests, why do you look just like them? Uh...except for the wings and the...um.."  
  
"Tutus. They're all the rage with prophetic ghosts this year," Red replied.  
  
"And as for looking like the...uh..*snicker*... 'tallests', we didn't know we resembled anybody else," Purple said.  
  
  
"But what abou-" Zim began.  
  
"Uh-uh. We're already behind schedule." said Purple.   
  
He and Red suddenly flew towards Zim and both grabbed an arm. Before Zim could react, a bright maroon light enveloped them.  
  
"HEEEEERE WEEEE GOOOOO!" Red yelled as they disappeared from the room.  
  
~ --  
  
A few moments later, the three popped into a brightly-lit room. Zim was trying to kick the two, but was getting nowhere fast.  
  
"PUT ME DOWN! I /DEMAND/ THAT YOU PUT ME DOWN!!!"  
  
Red and Purple looked at each other, shrugged, and dropped Zim on the floor. Zim yelled and got up, rubbing his head. He turned on the two.  
  
"You fools! How dare you pick me up like some kind of child?! I demand to know where you have...taken...me."  
  
Zim had noticed his surroundings for the first time. They were in a large room, about the size of the skool cafeteria. Small cages, each holding several small green forms, were arranged in neat rows in the room, with several robots moving through the aisles. The walls were plastered with images showing heroic tall Irken soldiers taking over planets, pulverizing non-Irken aliens, and ruling the universe. Above each cage was a mobile containing such objects as a voot runner, a standard Irken war cannon, or a non-Irken being disemboweled, and in the cages were things like plush SIR figures, or a Baby's-First-Tazer. Zim grew teary-eyed.  
  
"Why, it's...it's...the Young Irken Soldier training room!," he said wonderingly. "But how did we get here?"  
  
A robot whirred past, and Zim took off after it, yelling.  
  
"Hey! Hey, you! Hey! Turn around, you mechanized pile of dooky! HEY!!  
  
Purple floated up behind Zim.  
  
"It can't hear you. We're now in the past. /Your/ past, to be precise, on your first Christmas."  
  
Zim turned and looked at the two hovering figures.  
  
"What?!"  
  
Red floated forward.  
  
"If you don't believe us, look for yourself."  
  
He pointed toward a particular cage. As Zim approached it, he could make out several larger green figures approaching two smaller ones. One of the small creatures cowered, but the other, the shorter of the two, puffed out its chest and said in a disturbingly high and cute voice, "You don't scare me! I'm a brave and mighty Irken Invader! Invaders fear no one!"   
  
The larger figures laughed and pushed the shorter one down.  
  
"You aren't any Invader, Zim!" one jeered, "You'll probably be the mechanic for my Voot Runner when we're grown!"  
  
"No, he won't!" another said, "I'll make him my SIR instead!"  
  
The others laughed and began pummeling Zim's head against the ground. Zim gasped out, "One...day...I'll be...the...best...Invader ever!" This just made the larger Irkens laugh harder. A robot noticed this fight and hurried over to the cage.  
  
"What is the reason for this display of aggression, young Irken?," the robot asked the tallest of the larger group.  
  
"We're just beating up these scrawny worthless pieces of cannon fodder."  
  
The robot beeped to itself for a moment, then it's mechanical eyes glowed brighter.  
  
"Ah! Displaying belittling and bullying tendencies towards those of lower stature to bring oneself the illusion of being superior! Why didn't you say so? Carry on."  
  
The robot sped away as the group continued their assault on the two smaller Irkens.  
  
Older Zim was glaring at this apparition with his fists clenched, growling softly to himself. Behind him, the two ghosts of Christmas Past were staring wide-eyed at the scene before them. After a moment, Purple turned to Red and whispered, "Why did you take us /here/? This is probably the worst place we could have gone!"  
  
Red whispered back, "People's first Christmases are usually full of smiling parents and fluffy toys! How was I supposed to know?!"  
  
Purple quickly whispered back, "Well, find a /good/ place to go, and /quickly/," and then rushed forward and grabbed present-day Zims arm.  
  
"Well! Wasn't that fun? We're on a very tight schedule, so we're gonna go to the next one, which will be /much/ better." Purple shot Red a warning glance.  
  
"The nex-"  
  
~ --  
  
"-t one?" Zim asked. He looked around him, surprised. The scenery had changed again. Now a slightly older Zim with a few more teeth sat at a long table with many other Irken soldiers-in- training. Similar tables stretched across the wide room, and instructions written in Irken were shown on a large screen at one end. On each table were a variety of parts, and every young Irken was attempting to make a laser gun according to the instructions. Most Irkens were only halfway through, and a few had obviously fried themselves accidentally making it, but young Zim had already made the gun, and was now working on adding a selector that could set the ray to "kill", "destroy", "obliterate", and "pulverize."   
  
Purple came up behind modern-day Zim and said, "See? You showed intelligence and quick wit on Christmas! Not all Christmases are bad!"  
  
Red joined in.   
  
"Yeah! And look at the size of that laser!"  
  
"Well, I guess I didn't do /that/ bad," Zim said slowly.  
  
Red nudged Purple.  
  
"See? See? This is /much/ better."  
  
"Mmm...yeah, pretty good. What year is this?"  
  
"Uh...his second Christmas?"  
  
"/Second/?! Are you just going in order?"  
  
"Hey, it's working! Don't knock it."  
  
Meanwhile, Zim was looking on his younger self in pride. Whatever /did/ happen to that first laser he had made? He remembered making it, but he forgot what had hap-  
  
"Hey, shorty!"  
  
Oh. Now he remembered.  
  
Young Zim looked up. A larger Irken sitting a few spaces away from him had gotten up.  
  
"Are you addressing /me/, the future hero of the Irken Empire?," young Zim said in a voice that was slightly deeper but still disturbingly cute.  
  
"Yeah! I /am/ addressing you, pipsqueak! You think you're SO much better than us, don't you?"  
  
Young Zim smiled smugly.  
  
"As a matter of fact, I do."  
  
This approach seemed to take a while to be processed by the larger Irken's two brain cells. Finally, he came to a conclusion.  
  
"Well, you're NOT!"  
  
By now, most of the hall was watching the exchange with interest, and a few cheered the large Irken on. Fueled by the cheering, the larger Irken let out a roar and charged young Zim. Young Zim tried to get his laser into firing position, but the Irkens on either side of him grabbed the laser from his hands. Several more tried to hold Zim down, but he was very quick, and managed to get a good number of blows in before he was held down by the sheer weight of all the bodies on him. While this was happening, one of the Irkens that had grabbed his laser got an idea.  
  
"Let's smash it!"  
  
This thought was met with widespread appeal, and immediately dozens of young Irkens were pummeling the laser, even going so far as to hit it with their own lasers or with chairs. Suddenly, the laser began smoking and shaking, and the crowd around it backed up. As the shaking grew worse, everyone began to scream and run away. Young Zim had just managed to pull himself onto the table, with bruises all over and one antenna bent, when it exploded.   
  
Several minutes later, a large group of adult Irkens and riot robots stormed into the room. All the young Irkens were in their spots, working hard...except for one. At one table in the corner was a large smoking crater, and a small, charred Irken twitching and drooling on the ground next to it. The leader of the group marched over to him and looked down. Young Zim's eyes wavered open just a crack. The leader bent down low to peer into Zim's face. The last thing he saw before blacking out was the leader, glaring at Zim and saying in an ominous voice, "Young soldier, I'd like to have a word with you..."  
  
Red and Purple stared wide-eyed at the entire spectacle. Modern-day Zim was staring towards the retreating figures, with one eye twitching. Suddenly, Purple turned on Red.  
  
" 'MUCH BETTER?!' 'IT'S WORKING, DON'T KNOCK IT?!!' ARE YOU /INSANE/?!!!"   
  
"Uh...er..."  
  
"Okay, bring us to a new one, and this time, make SURE that it's good!"  
  
Purple stalked over to Zim and grabbed him, and they again disappeared.  
  
  
~ --  
  
Instead of appearing in a new scene, the three seemed to be in an all-white space, with no up or down. Zim, again surprised by the sudden change, whirled on the two ghosts.  
  
"WHERE have you brought me NOW, evil human worm holiday-ghosts?"  
  
Purple turned to Red, put his hands on his hips, and said, "I would like to know the answer to that question myself. You know we're not supposed to bring clients /here./"  
  
"Just wait," said Red. "I'm trying to find a good date..."  
  
He was looking at a screen that had spontaneously appeared from nowhere. It was showing images from Zim's past Christmases. The three drew closer to the screen as different scenes played out.  
  
"Oh, how about that one - oh. Ouch. Maybe not," Red said, going to the next scene. And the next. And the next.  
  
"Wait, what abou- oooo. That HAD to hurt."  
  
"Here, I think that /this/....um...no. Definitely not."  
  
"Maybe this- YIPE! CHANGETHECHANNEL!!! CHANGETHECHANNEL!!!"  
  
"Can Irkens even DO that? I mean, legs don't usually /bend/ that way..."  
  
"AAAAA! Red! You're doing it wrong! Here, give me the remote!"  
  
Purple grabbed a fairy-type wand covered in glitter and ribbons and topped with a star from Red and shook it at the screen.  
  
"Hey, this one looks nice...see, he's giving that female a present....HEY! WHY IS IT PULLING OUT HER EYEBALLS?!!"  
  
"Um, science experiment?"  
  
"Ugh. Change the channel."  
  
"Here's A....OH! Ow. Not good. I feel for you, Zim."  
  
"OH SWEET MOTHER OF CHEESE DOODLES! HE IS TERRIBLY MISUSING THAT SPORK!"  
  
They flipped through Christmas after Christmas, every one showing some new terror or pain. The final two showed Zim destroying his home planet and Zim getting hot oil poured on his head on FoodCourtia. After all the Christmases, they decided to go through all of the Hanukkahs. After that, all the Kwanzas, then the New Years, the winter solstices, the birthdays, etc. By the end, Red was sobbing into Purple's arms, and Purple was rocking back and forth, staring into space and gibbering. Zim was staring into space, looking bored. After the last scene had played, the ghosts revived themselves and faced Zim. After a few moments, Red came forward.  
  
"Uh...well, after much deliberation, we decided that your life stunk."  
  
Purple smacked him and stepped forward.  
  
"Um...what we /mean/ is that you have lots of room left for improvement. LOTS of room."  
  
Zim stared at them, with a you-are-wasting-my-time expression on his face.  
  
"So! Now you can work to be the best, most optimistic, jolliest alien on the planet, am I right?!"  
  
Stare.  
  
"Please? We /really/ need a raise."  
  
Stare.  
  
Red sighed and said, "Ah, let's just bring him back. We're almost out of time, anyway."  
  
Purple sighed, too, and they both grabbed Zim.  
  
~ --  
  
Zim was suddenly back in his bed, back in his room. Faintly, he could hear fading voices...  
  
"Well, I hope the ghost of Christmas present does a better job."  
  
"Yeah, or the ghost of Christmas future. That gets them every time..."  
  
Zim sighed and settled back in his cushions to try to get as much sleep as he could. He had a feeling that he wouldn't be able to get much, tonight.  
  
-- ~ --  
  
WHEW! I must be insane. I wrote this whole chapter all at once, the day after the first chapter. Yeek. Well, now I'm pooped. I'm gonna go post this and look at all the other fics on fanfiction.net. My family all went to a basketball game, but decided not to take me after they peeked into the darkened computer room and saw me typing at an insane rate, with my bloodshot eyes wide and an insane grin on my face, and a pile of chocolate chips, chocolate chip cookies, a small brick of chocolate, and chocolate milk in front of me. My family knows all-too- well about my chocolate addiction, and what tends to happen when I overdose. Of course, I feel perfectly normal right gorgeous tie, bob, I'll take three individually wrapped slices to go with my badger, thanks for the burro con queso. Yes, I do snake my weasel up tapdancing astrobiophysicists! Smouldering weedwackers, Batman! I believe that my whack-a-mole just ate the presidential petunia of DOOM! 


	3. The astronomical head of the ghost of Ch...

"Um, well I think that now I will go to sleep," Zim said. "Yes. I will sleep now. Here I go."  
  
He fell asleep.  
  
A ghost appeared.  
  
"Wake up Zim. I am a ghost. I am here to show you the true meaning of Christmas."  
  
Zim woke up.  
  
"Oh, no. Not another annoying ghost. I am trying to sleep."  
  
"I want to show you the true meaning of I am about to SCREAM! How am I supposed to finish this FREAKIN' STORY?!!!! B BGVY6Y BN GHGGHJN UYHJHGBVFRFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR FFFFFFF  
  
"Um, Kat?"  
  
Kat23a looked up from the keyboard. Her nose was stuck somewhere between the F key and the R key. Her little sister Ellie was standing in the doorway.  
  
"Umf?"  
  
"Why are you head-banging the computer?"  
  
"I'm trying to start the next chapter of this story, and I have no idea where to begin."  
  
"Oh. Is it that story you've been hogging the computer over all week? The one about the alien?"  
  
"Yeah. Zim. It's based on 'A Christmas Carol' by Charles Dickens."  
  
"Like that play we were in a few years ago?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"When you were Froo-Froo the maid?"  
  
"MY NAME WAS NOT FROO-FROO!!! And that fluffy hat looked great on me, I don't care what you say."  
  
"Yeah, right. Where are you now?"  
  
"Oh, the ghosts of Christmas past just left."  
  
"Ghost/S/?"  
  
"Don't ask."  
  
"Well, how about you just start it a little like the last chapter, and then add some different stuff to it? At least you'll have started. You can always go back if you don't like it."  
  
"*sigh* Yeah, I guess I'll do that. This story IS fun to write, I just don't know how to start the chapters. Thanks, Ellie."  
  
"You're welcome. Um, Kat? Could I ask a question?"  
  
"Sure. Fire away."  
  
"Why are you putting all of your sisters in your disclaimers instead of your friends or your dog or your split personalities or something?"  
  
"Well, Ellie, the holidays are a time to share with your families, a time when you should remember the home that you came from, the parents that raised you, the-  
  
"Kat."  
  
"You guys are just annoying me, and I like getting back at you in the disclaimers."  
  
"Ah-hah."   
  
Ellie looked up at all the words above them.  
  
"Boy, this disclaimer is sure getting long."  
  
"Yeah, I think I'm subconsciously imitating the Slayer. Anyway, Ellie, you know what to do!"  
  
Ellie cleared her throat and looked at the screen.  
  
"Kat23a does not own any Invader Zim characters or characters from 'A Christmas Carol.' She /does/ own a fluffy hat, though, that makes her look /just like/ a maid named Froo-Frooaaaaaah!"  
  
Ellie ran out of the room, Kat23a close behind.  
  
"Come back here, you little weasel!"  
  
  
-- ~ --  
  
  
Although it had seemed like a long time, Zim had only been away from his bed for forty-five minutes. When he fell asleep, it was only five minutes away from two o' clock. Too bad for him.  
  
Five minutes later, the glowing chihuahua appeared again, carrying the same big bell. It set the bell down, winced, and charged.  
  
"GOOOOOOOooooOOOoooOOOoooOOOoooonnnnnng!"  
  
Zim jerked in his sleep.  
  
The chihuahua picked itself up drunkenly, stumbled back a few paces, and charged again.  
  
"GOOOOOOOooooOOOOoooOOOooooOOooooOooooonnnnng!"  
  
Zim sat up, looking grumpy and sleepy. Behind him, the chihuahua fell down and twitched in midair. From the ceiling, the voice whispered again.  
  
"See? Wasn't that a nice sound? Much better than a 'beep' any day."  
  
The chihuahua whimpered and disappeared, along with the bell. Zim didn't notice this exchange and was looking around for a new apparition.  
  
"Well, where's the ghost? There's supposed to be a new one here. HAH! Hahahahahahahaha! Those ghosties know they cannot mess with the almighty and powerful ZIM!"  
  
Still laughing to himself, Zim turned to go back to sleep. Just as his head was about to hit the cushions, he heard a strange sound coming from somewhere above. It sounded like...human music? Human /holiday/ music? Zim looked nervous and tried to go back to sleep, but the sound of the music kept playing with his subconscious. He couldn't even relax, let alone sleep. He /had/ to see where that music was coming from.  
  
Zim reluctantly got up from his comfortable bed and made his way through the labs to an elevator. As he went up, the joyful music got louder and louder. He suddenly heard a strong, deep voice laughing.  
  
"OOOHOHOHOHOHO! COME UP, AND GET TO KNOW ME BETTER, MAN!" (A/N: Look! An almost-quote from 'A Christmas Carol!' I still actually remember some lines!)  
  
Zim lifted up a nonexistent eyebrow. 'Man?' Who was this 'HO-HO-HO'ing creature? Surely it couldn't be...the Santa Claws? Zim shuddered. He'd had recurring nightmares about the Santa Claws ever since he had heard of him. A creature that would infiltrate your home base while you were sleeping and leave proof that he had been there behind...a creature no human ever saw... It was like every worst fear that Zim ever had all put together. Zim stopped the elevator on a certain floor on the way up, ran out, and returned with an EXTEMELY large-looking blaster, the Irken equivalent of a bazooka (A/N: The bazooka RETURNS! Muahahaha!) Zim would face this creature down, even if it meant annihilating its every last molecule. He began rising again, the loud laughter echoing in his ears.   
  
Again, the voice said, "COME UP, AND GET TO KNOW ME BETTER, MAN!"  
  
Zim narrowed his eyes and held his blaster tighter. Above, he could see the top floor opening. He had taken the elevator underneath the table in the living room. He steeled himself as he came up through the floor.   
  
As he saw the scene before him, his eyes opened wide, jaw dropped, and the bazooka clattered harmlessly to the floor. He had been prepared for almost anything, but /this/...  
  
The room.../his/ room...was covered in holiday decorations. Wreaths, candles, pictures, at least /five/ different decorated trees, streamers, glitter, bells...even the television was showing a picture of a roaring fire, and stockings were taped above it. Covering the floor, the tables, every single spot open were all sorts of human filth food. Turkeys, cranberries, cakes, candy canes, bowls of fruits, bowls of nuts, bowls of Jello....Zim felt nauseous at the smell of it all, not to mention the /sight/...  
  
But that wasn't the thing that was holding his attention at the moment. The thing that he was staring at, the thing that had made him drop his weapon and stand there like a drooling idiot was a huge figure, almost too big to even fit in the room, dressed in a red robe (that looked a bit like a trenchcoat) with white trimming. It was wearing a green shirt underneath the robe with a picture of a large christmas tree on it, and was also wearing a santa-style red hat. Zim wasn't paying as much attention to its clothes, though, as he was to its big, giant, bulbous, monstrous, freakish, capacious, enormous, vast, gargantuan, (A/N: Don't you just love those thesauruses that come with typing programs?) immense, broad, jumbo, great, extensive, tremendous, corpulent, massive, towering, elephantine, colossal, gigantic, ponderous, extraordinary, monumental, and all-too-familiar head.  
  
"D-Dib?,"Zim said weakly.  
  
The bulky head turned downward, a mammoth scythe of hair brushing against the ceiling. The creature smiled, and reached toward Zim.  
  
"Well, it's about time you showed up, I have-"  
  
Zim freaked out at the sight of a hand larger than himself coming towards him.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! DON'T EAT MEEEE!"  
  
The creature looked surprised, and threw back its titanic head in laughter.  
  
"/Eat/ you?! Why should I eat /you/ when I am surrounded by the delicious foods of the holidays?" the creature said, motioning to the piles and piles of food around him. Zim looked at the food and made a gagging sound.  
  
"/You/ are surrounded by disgusting human FILTH! And I suppose that you're another 'ghost.'"  
  
The way-too-cheerful ghost smiled, laughed, and said, "Right! I am the ghost of Christmas present!"  
  
Zim pointed to a menorah happily burning away on a windowsill.  
  
"Then what's that?"  
  
The ghost shrugged.  
  
"These days we have do all the holidays that are around the same time as Christmas, too. That's from Hanukkah."  
  
Zim pointed to a confused-looking girl wearing a white dress and a wreath with candles on her head.  
  
"What about her?"  
  
"St. Lucia. A Swedish holiday celebrated on the longest night of the year."  
  
Zim pointed to the glowing chihuahua, who was busy devouring a pudding in a corner.  
  
"What about that?"  
  
"Hey! You're not supposed to be here!"  
  
The chihuahua looked up guiltily. The voice from the ceiling said, "Busted." The chihuahua quickly grabbed a chicken leg and disappeared.   
  
The giant ghost-Dib bent down to get a little closer to Zim and said, "Anyway, we picked Christmas for you because someone already did Hanukkah, we're not sure if you're qualified to celebrate Kwanza, and the story is traditionally about Christmas."  
  
"Huh?," Zim said, now thoroughly confused.  
  
"Never mind. Just follow me."  
  
Ghost-Dib started to get up, crashing into the ceiling. He looked up, surprised.   
  
"Oh, yeah, I forgot."  
  
The ghost began shrinking until it was approximately the same size as Zim.  
  
"There," it said, in a much higher and more Dib-like voice, "Follow me."  
  
"Wait, wait," Zim said, waving his hands. "Why should /I/ go with /you/? YOU are an intruder in my base, your two friends from the past and that...that...dog of MADNESS have already ruined my night, you have dragged all this human FILTH into my house, and it's snowing outside!"  
  
"You'll go because you have no choice in the matter," the Dib-ghost said. "As for the snow, it shouldn't touch you as long as you're with me."  
  
"NO CHOICE IN THE — eep!"  
  
The ghost had grabbed one of Zim's hands, and they both were suddenly flying through the walls high into the snowy outside world. Zim screeched and tried alternately to tug his hand free and to climb up on top of ghost-Dib's imposing head. The ghost looked annoyed and swatted Zim.  
  
"Hey! Do you /want/ me to drop you?"  
  
Zim froze.  
  
"Just relax. We're almost there."  
  
"Almost /where/?"  
  
"You think that Christmas is some stupid Earth holiday that you high-and-mighty aliens can't participate in? Well, I'm going to prove you wrong. We're going to one of the jolliest, best, and most-Christmasy houses I can think of. AND it is home to one of the most handsome, brave, and daring humans on the face of the Earth!"  
  
"...but we're /headed/ for the Dib-human's house! Do you mean his father, that...Professor Skin or Professor Mesentery or whatever his name is?"  
  
(A/N: Fun fact — Mesentery is the goopy stuff that holds all your intestines together! I got to see some close-up in Biology class! Yum!)  
  
The Dib-ghost sighed and shook his large head.  
  
"Forget it. Anyway, we're gonna go see them."  
  
Zim began grumbling to himself.   
  
"Idiot human...why should /I/ have to go see /him/...with his pathetic human sister...and his pathetic human tree...and his pathetic human hairballs...and his pathetic human corn...and his-"  
  
You get the idea.  
  
A few minutes later, the two landed in the snow next to a window of the Membrane house. Zim obviously didn't trust the ghosts assurances that the snow would not hurt him, as could be seen when Zim once again tried to climb on top of the ghost's ample head, screeching. After a momentary scuffle, the ghost threw Zim in the snow, which surprisingly, didn't hurt, or even feel cold. The two brushed themselves off, each eyeing the other warily, and turned to look in the window together.  
  
Inside was Dib, sitting on the couch and reading his 'Crop Circles' magazine. A cup halfway full of eggnog sat by his elbow. Several minutes passed. Dib turned a page. Several more minutes passed. Zim looked at the ghost-Dib, annoyed.  
  
"Well?"  
  
The ghost-Dib had his eyes wide, watching the scene with total concentration. He made a hushing gesture with his hand.   
  
"Just wait, it's almost at my favorite part."  
  
Dib turned another page, and took a sip of his eggnog. The ghost-Dib sighed in pleasure and sat back, misty-eyed.  
  
"Such studiousness, such power, such sheer grace -"  
  
"ExCUSE me!" Zim said, annoyed. "How is this supposed to show me /anything/ about Christmas?"  
  
The ghost-Dib sighed and said, "All right. I'll press fast-forward."  
  
Suddenly, Dib was zipping through his magazine and gulping eggnog. In a second, he went to the kitchen to get more, in another second, he was back with a full cup, a few more seconds later, he had finished both the magazine and the eggnog. The picture slowed back to normal speed.  
  
"Now, technically, this is the future," the ghost-Dib said. "But since it all falls under this present Christmas, I can go where I want during the holiday."  
  
"Dib stays up until 2:00 am drinking eggnog?"  
  
"3:00 am, by now. His family stays up late. Anyway, I think we should get a closer look for the next part."  
  
Zim turned to the window again. Suddenly, he was inside the room, along with the ghost-Dib. The real Dib showed no sign of having seen them. Gaz walked in the room, playing her Gameslave. She sat down next to Dib, who began rereading an article of the magazine. A few minutes passed. Zim began looking annoyed again, but before he could speak —   
  
"I got you a present," Gaz said without looking up from her game. "It's under the tree."  
  
Dib looked up, and went over to the tree, which had a very few presents beneath it. Only two, to be exact. He picked up one wrapped in blue, shook it, and ripped it open. He smiled when he saw what was inside.  
  
"Full-field night-vision binoculars with a built in nanoanalyzer! Gaz, this is great! This /definitely/ help me defeat Zim!"  
  
Gaz groaned.  
  
"Please, not Zim again."  
  
Dib opened his mouth to start one of his speeches about how Zim was going to take over the Earth if no one stopped him, but then he paused.  
  
"Yeah, you're right. It's Christmas. I can think about Zim some other day."  
  
Zim's eyes widened as he heard this. That was definitely not the response he expected.  
  
"I got a present for you, too, Gaz."  
  
Gaz looked up, looked down at her game, and then /turned her game off/ to go over to the tree.   
  
Zim's mouth dropped open at this. He had rarely, if ever, seen Gaz without her Gameslave on.  
  
Gaz knelt down and picked up a present wrapped in black. She opened it, and when she saw what was inside she kind-of almost did one of those smiling things against her will. She lifted out a silvery-gray box with several trailing cords.  
  
"The MetaSlave 3000. Instantly projects any Gameslave game onto any larger screen with improved graphics and sound. Thanks, Dib."  
  
As the two admired their presents, Professor Membrane came in the door from the kitchen, holding the eggnog carton in one hand.  
  
"Hello, children. Do either of you know who drank the last of — ah, I see that you are trading presents, in the time-honored tradition of Christmas, passed down from generation to generation, increasing family bonds worldwide! And I, too, shall increase those bonds, by bestowing upon you a gift in the spirit of the holidays!"  
  
Dib and Gaz looked bored, obviously having heard the same speech before.  
  
"Here's some money, go have fun."  
  
The two took the money and dutifully said "Thanks, Dad," as Professor Membrane wafted out the door towards his labs. As they began dividing the money between themselves, ghost-Dib turned towards Zim, smiling, with watery eyes.  
  
"It's just all so beautiful! Can you feel the love?"  
  
Zim looked up from his inspection of the room, looking for weaknesses in Dib's house.  
  
"I'm sorry, what?"  
  
"Oh, wait! We're late! I have to finish before 3:00! We've gotta go!"  
  
Ghost-Dib ran through the wall, and Zim hurried after, testing the wall with a hand before plunging through.  
  
"Before 3:00?! I thought you said it /was/ 3:00!"  
  
"3:00 in /real time/, not in the future! Grab my hand!"  
  
Zim grabbed ghost-Dib's hand and they flew off into the night again. As they flew, Zim noticed something strange.  
  
"Hey...is that a white streak in your hair?"  
  
"Yes, I'm only the ghost of Christmas /present/. I age as the day goes on. There have been thousands of my brothers before me, and there will be thousands of my brothers after me."  
  
Zim contemplated this for a moment. On one hand, it would be nice to see at least a version of Dib age and die before his eyes, but on the other hand, seeing him age while retaining the body of a 12-year-old was just...weird.  
  
  
The ghost-Dib started speaking again as they flew.  
  
"For most people, the holidays are a joyful time, a wonderful time to be around friends and family. For a few, however, there is very little joy at all. Take your faithful robot, Gir, for instance."  
  
"Gir?! What /about/ him?"  
  
"He spent all day making a present just for you, and, instead of thanking him for at least showing the effort, you blew up at him and said that you would be better off without him!"  
  
Zim looked a little embarrassed at this, but tried to hide it (after all, he was with a creature that looked just like his worst enemy).  
  
"Well, then, I'll apologize to him tomorrow. Happy? Can we go back now?"  
  
"Sorry. It doesn't work like that, and I'm not sure if you'll be /able/ to apologize."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Just wait, and you'll be able to see what I mean."  
  
The two flew lower over the city. They were now directly above a slum of the city. The houses were generally small, and more than one had boarded-up windows. Ragged figures clustered in the corners or lay in the alleys, covered in cardboard. Zim was wondering what he was supposed to be doing /here/, of all places, when he spotted a swatch of green through the falling snow. His eyes widened.  
  
"GIR?!"  
  
The ghost-Dib nodded his prodigious head slowly as they landed near the curled-up puppy.  
  
"He left the house after you yelled at him, thinking he wasn't wanted anymore."  
  
"But his circuits will /freeze/ in this snow! Gir! I demand you return to the base this instant!"  
  
"He can't hear you..."  
  
Zim ignored the spirit and rushed towards Gir, yelling.  
  
"Gir! Get up! Return to the base before you get ice in your casing! Gir? Gir!"  
  
As Zim tried to lift up the little snow-covered dog, his hands went right through Gir. Gir sniffed and curled up a little more, hugging his rubber pig tighter. Zim stood, looking at him, having (for maybe the first time in his life) absolutely no idea what to do. The ghost-Dib came closer to Zim, and Zim spoke to him without turning his head.  
  
"What will happen to him?"  
  
"I can't see the future very well, but if nothing changes from the way it is now, I see a little rubber piggy with no one to hold it, and an empty green dog costume in a garbage can."  
  
Ghost-Dib squinted his eyes and wrinkled his forehead a little.  
  
"I also see...daisies, but that might just be the snow messing with the signals."  
  
Zim turned back to ghost-Dib, and saw, with some surprise, that ghost-Dib now had completely white hair, and was covered with wrinkles. A low fog was rolling around his feet.  
  
Zim asked, "Is there any way to change that?"  
  
Ghost-Dib smiled sadly and answered, "Only if the present remains like it is now. It might still be possible for you to change it. But for now, it's time for me to go."  
  
"No, wait! You haven't shown me everything yet! How do I help him! Tell me, you pathetic human holiday stink ghost pig monkey!"  
  
The fog was rising, and it now covered the figure of ghost-Dib, so that all that could be seen of him was as vague silhouette with a huge head.  
  
"It's time for me to go. If you have any questions left, the ghost of Christmas future should help you..."  
  
Zim rushed forward as ghost-Dib's voice faded away, and found only fog. The fog was now so thick that he couldn't even make out the buildings surrounding him. Faintly, through the fog, a noise could be heard.  
  
"GOOOOOOOOoooOOOoooOOooooOoooonnnnnng...."  
  
"GOOOOOOOOoooooOOOOOoooOOOooooOOOoooOoonnnnnng..."  
  
"GOOOOOOOOOooooooOOOOOoooooOOOOOOoooOOOOoooOOOOoooonnnnng..."  
  
There was a distant thud as a chihuahua fell to the ground, unconscious.  
  
In the fog, Zim waited for the third ghost.  
  
-- ~ --  
Fun fact: In this chapter, Dib's head is referred to nine times, using thirty-three different adjectives, with none of them repeating!  
  
Yikes. I am writing this EXTREMELY fast. The story's practically writing itself. Don't expect this to be a trend, folks. At least it's a welcome change from having writer's block! Thanks for all those who wrote reviews! You make me feel all warm and squishy inside! ^_^  
Ooooooo! Now comes the SPOOKY ghost! I'm gonna have /fun/ with this one! *insert evil grin here* At the rate I'm going, I should have the next chapter up by tomorrow! Don't expect it, though. I probably jinxed myself by saying that. Drat. Um, I'll shut up now. Yeah. 


	4. The Spooky Ghost of Future Christmas DOO...

Greta, stop looking over my shoulder.  
  
Thank you.  
  
Ahem, now here is the *counts on fingers* fourth chapt-  
  
Greta, I thought I told you to stop looking over my shoulder.  
  
THANK YOU.  
  
Greta: Kat, that wasn't looking over your shoulder. THIS is looking over you shoulder *puts chin on Kat23a's shoulder, digging it in painfully*.  
  
Go. Away.   
  
Please?  
  
GET OFF MY SHOULDER!!!  
  
/Thank/ you.  
  
NOW, as I was saying, here is the fourth chapter of 'A Christmas Carol: The DOOMED version.' It's the only chapter that's actually pretty serious.   
  
Audience: Kat23a? /Serious/? Yeah, right.  
  
Um, well, /mostly/ serious. Kinda.  
  
Greta, I thought I told you to go away.  
  
Thank you.  
  
GO AWAY! GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE DOOR!  
  
Thank-  
  
GO AWAAAAAAY!!!!!!  
  
*sigh* Sisters. Doncha love 'em? *smacks head on keyboard again*   
  
fgvbhjnnjuyhgfbvgbv  
  
*looks up from keyboard* Oh, yeah. If you think I own anything famous, /especially/ anything IZ, you're insane. *down goes the head*   
  
rftbvg trgfvb  
  
  
-- ~ --  
  
  
The mist swirled around Zim as he tried to see through it, looking for the next ghost. The run- down buildings and dirty streets seemed to have disappeared completely, leaving Zim in this world of fog. Curiously, the fog still did not sting or burn, like it normally would have. Zim began to feel cold, and crossed his arms around his body. He was getting annoyed. He had no idea where he was in the city, and even if he did, he could barely see his own feet in this fog.   
  
Suddenly, soundlessly, a dark, robed figure appeared through the fog. It was tall enough to rival the Tallest, and seemed to glide towards Zim, rather than walk. As it approached silently, Zim felt a small twinge of fear. Pushing the feeling away, he straightened himself up and put on a haughty expression.  
  
"So, I suppose that you're the ghost of Christmas future? Come here to 'show me the true meaning of Christmas?'"  
  
The specter regarded Zim silently, then gave one slow nod. This unnerved him a little, but he shook it off.  
  
"...And I suppose Ms. Bitters is under that robe? Or Gaz on stilts?"  
  
This time, the head shook in a slow 'no.' Zim started getting annoyed at its silence.  
  
"Well, can't you talk? What do you have to show me about this future of yours?"  
  
This time, the spirit raised one skeletal hand and pointed past Zim. Zim stared at the bleached- white bones and gulped. Then, slowly, he turned to see what it was pointing at. As the sight before him registered, his eyes widened and he gasped.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Hee, hee. You thought I ended, didn't you? This is what's known as a 'dramatic pause.'  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Annoying, ain't it?  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
I bet you /really/ want to know what happens next, don't you?  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The sight which stunned Zim so much was the city he had lived in for so long, but it was...a wasteland. The streets, dingy to start with, were now positively /filthy/, and even the skyscrapers had broken windows. A tattered Irken flag fluttered from a flagpole in a nearby park. Several people walked the streets, but they scurried like scared mice, looking around them the whole time, like they expected to be attacked at any moment. Zim's eyes began watering.  
  
"It's....it's /beautiful!/ HAH! BEHOLD, EARTH! I, ZIM, AM YOUR NEW RULER! ALL MUST OBEY MY FIST! FEEL MY WRATH! I SHALL CRUSH ALL YOU LIKE CHEESE- ENGORGED COCKROACHES! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! MUAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"  
  
Behind him, the phantom shook its head. It glided forward until it caught Zim's eye, and pointed at the torn flag. Zim looked closer at it, and made a sound somewhat like "Whuuuh?"  
  
Someone had taken white paint and painted a mustache on the Irken logo. Zim had barely finished noticing this when the ghost pointed to the side of a building. Zim made a sound like "Whaaahaa!" as he saw the spray-painted writings on it, saying things like 'Down with Zim!' or 'Zim eets dookee', along with a picture of Zim with crossed eyes, his tongue hanging out, and brown stuff (presumably 'dookee') in his mouth. The specter pointed to a bench, which had carved on it, "Dib rocks!" and "Paranormalists forever!" Zim continued to make surprised sounds as more and more things were pointed out proving that his conquest of the planet was not complete. Finally, Zim could take no more.  
  
"ENOUGH!!," Zim yelled.   
  
The spirit stopped pointing and merely gazed at Zim's back as Zim jumped on the bench and shook his fist at the sky.  
  
"IF THIS IS THE FUTURE, THEN I SHALL BE EVEN....uh.../MORE/ DESTROYING WHEN I DESTROY THE EARTH! DIB WILL BE THE FIRST TO GO! I AM AN ELITE IRKEN INVADER! I SHALL RULE AAAALL! YOU PITIFUL EARTH MONKEYS WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT HIT YOU! PREPARE FOR IMMINENT /DOOM/ AND DESTRUCTION, SLUG-PEOPLE OF EARTH! I WILL —"  
  
Zim continued yelling at the world in general. Behind him, the ghost of Christmas future put its face in one hand and shook its head. It started gliding towards Zim again, and a new cloud of fog suddenly began rising. In moments, the world was once again hidden from view.  
  
" — AND I'LL MAKE ALL REBELS WEAR /CHICKENS/ ON THEIR HEADS! DO YOU HEAR ME, EARTH WEASELS?! CHIIIIIICKENS! AND THERE WILL BE NO MORE...Uh...no more...."  
  
Zim noticed that he could no longer see anything but fog. He got off the bench and looked around for the ghost. It was a little ways away, and Zim went up to it and began talking quickly, in a this-is-all-in-a-day's-work-stop-annoying-me-now type voice (think when Zim tried to dump Keef).  
  
"Well, I must say that you have shown me that I'll have to be even tougher on these pathetic earthlings than I thought I would, so I suppose I have to thank you. You have proven yourself to be a useful guide, and I have definitely learned something from this experience, blah, blah, blah, but now I think I've learned everything I need to know, please tell your all your spirit friends they did a fine job, I should really be going now."  
  
Zim turned and began to march away, eyes closed, but he bumped into something. He looked up and saw...the spirit. He looked behind him quickly...no spirit. He began breathing hard. How did it move so fast? Above him, with a whipcrack noise, the spirit shot an arm out and pointed in a new direction. Zim slowly turned to face the new scene.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Oooooo, I'm being annoying again.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Doncha just love it?  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Hey, what are you doing with that paper cli- HEY! OW!!! STOPPIT!! HEY!! /THAT/ DOESN'T GO THEROOOOOW!!! OKAY, OKAY, I'LL STOP MAKING THE DRAMATIC PAUSES! sheesh, you'd think they'd learn to take a jok-OW! Okay!! Here it is!  
  
  
  
Through the clearing fog, Zim could make out a house. It was rather dingy, but so were all the houses in this future world. The windows were brightly lit, however, and loud music could be heard coming from it. Zim walked up to one of the windows and looked in.  
  
It was obviously some sort of human stinkbeast party. The humans having it were smiling, laughing, and having a good time, although they were all wearing ragged clothes, and more than a few seemed to be missing some teeth. Some noxious food set out on a table across the room actually made the skool food look /good/. Above the dancing and chatting humans, there was a large poster taped to the wall. It was a picture of Zim, looking victorious and proud. On it, any number of crude comments about Zim's ancestry, looks, personal hygiene, or deodorant choice were scrawled, and several darts were sticking out of his forehead. One partygoer, in the spirit of the creative nature of humans everywhere, had blacked out some of Zim's teeth and given him a moustache and an eyepatch. Written on a huge banner above the poster was "The Mighty Invader Zim's Funeral Wake."  
  
On seeing this, Zim's eyes bugged out.   
  
"Oh, those WRETCHED stink worm pig weasel chicken SLUGS! How DARE they insult the mighty Invader Zim's passing?! They will PAY! I will CRUS- huh?"  
  
Unnoticed by Zim, the ghost had glided up behind him, and now it pointed again at a certain table in a corner of the scene. There stood the crushing blow, the final insult, in the form of a still, grey, forlorn figure with a bouquet of cheap flowers sticking out of his head.  
  
"GIR?! What...have they DONE to him?!!"  
  
Zim turned to the still form beside him for an answer, but it merely shook its head and pointed at Zim. With a terrible sinking feeling, Zim realized that what the ghost meant.  
  
"..I.../I/ did this to him, didn't I?"  
  
The phantom merely looked at him.  
  
"Can...can this be changed? I mean, this canNOT be the real future? I can change it, right?"  
  
The specter didn't answer, but turned and began to glide away.  
  
"Hey! WAIT! COME BACK HERE!"  
  
Zim began to chase the spirit, but it always seemed to be a little ways ahead. He kept yelling after it to slow down or to stop, but it didn't pay any attention to him, so Zim stopped yelling to conserve his breath. Faster and faster he went, until he began to gasp for air. He deployed his metal legs — no one could see him in this fog — and STILL he could not keep up with the wraith. Finally, after what seemed like hours, he collapsed. The surrounding fog cleared in moments.  
  
As Zim caught his breath, he began to notice his surroundings. He was lying in loose dirt. He looked up. A skull looked back at him. He yelped and scooted away, backpedaling furiously. Then he realized it wasn't an Irken skull, or even a human skull. It was simply a detailed carving on a stone slab. Zim looked around. There were more of these stone markers, in different shapes, lined up row upon row. They ranged in size and shape from simple stones set in the ground to elaborate statues towering over the rest.  
  
As he noticed this, some small memory came back to him from his research on the human race. Irkens usually disintegrated the deceased, but, if Zim remembered right, humans usually buried their dead. The place where they buried them was called a...a...cement-eerie. But /why/ would he be in a human cement-eerie?   
  
Zim got up and began to walk through the rows. He even read some of the inscriptions on the stone markers. 'Rest in peace, blah blah blah' '...daughter of blah blah,' 'blah may angels watch over blah blah,' '....blah blah Died serving Earth in the Zim Wars,' 'Loving mother of bla —' Waitaminute. 'Died serving Earth in the Zim wars?!' Zim ran back and read the inscription again. Right there! 'Richard Darton, 1982-2028, Died serving Earth in the Zim Wars!' Zim read the words twice, barely believing it. He started walking the rows again, until another caught his eye. 'Nav Carrigan, 1989-2024, Died in a heroic attempt to save Earth in the Zim Wars.' Zim began to run though the rows, stopping to read one gravestone after another. 'Died while bravely fighting in the Zim Wars...,''...Died in a spy mission in the Zim...,' 'Died while piloting a stealth bomber in the...,' 'Died fighting in...,' 'Died while...,' 'Died....,' 'Died...,' 'Died....,' There were so many! Zim always knew that destroying a planet generally included...well, destruction, but one out of every four people here had died fighting /him./ Some were still children! Zim began to feel terrible, almost sick.  
  
Zim tried to get ahold of himself. Why was he feeling like this? He was an Invader. Invaders don't feel pity, so there must be some logical explanation. Well....uh...it was obvious that he was feeling this way...because....beeecaaause heee was...becaause he was sorry about the loss of potential slaves! Of course! That was it! Nothing more! Zim let out a mental sigh of relief. Anyway, mind control was so much.../cleaner/...than pure destruction. Simple. He could simply develop a way to hypnotize the whole human race! Bend them to his will! Maybe reincarnating Pustulio and televising him....anyway, that wouldn't have such a messy loss of life. All these Earth monkeys dying was....well, it was inefficient, wasn't it?  
  
Zim was so caught up in his plans that he nearly bumped into the statue. He looked up just in time. And up. And up. It was...Dib. A statue of Dib. Dib looking braver, more heroic, and less....big-headed than he had ever looked in real life. The statue-Dib was also older. His hair was a bit tousled, and the spike now hung the other way. His famous trenchcoat, looking battered and torn, flew out behind him in an invisible wind. He was leaning forward into the same invisible wind, with a set expression on his face. Held protectively in the crook of one elbow, with his free hand guarding it, was the Earth. Someone, somewhere, must have discovered the Irken height-based heirarchy, because the Dib shown in this statue had obviously been made to rival...no, to BEAT the Tallest in height. The fact that an ugly knee-high figure of Zim stamping his feet and crying was next to it made sure that the point was driven across. On the base of the statue was the inscription. 'Dib. 1989-2032. Died, along with Zim, in mortal combat for the good of Earth. His dying words were, "I want Zim, and his reign of terror, to lie buried with me."'   
  
Below this inscription was another, in smaller print. 'Zim. ????-2032. His dying words were, "No! Not..with a...digusting....stink.....beast!"'  
  
Zim hung his head. So /this/ was how it ended for him. How humiliating. He was an Irken Invader! Defeat like this was not supposed to happen to an Irken Invader.   
  
He felt a presence behind him. He turned, and was suddenly face-to-face (or, more precisely, face-to-bellybutton) with the ghost of Christmas past. He was getting used to the silent arrivals, though, and began speaking.  
  
"Please...there's /got/ to be a way to change this! I WON'T have this future happen! Tell me!"  
  
The ghost remained silent. Zim, who was at the end of his very short rope, suddenly jumped on the ghost, surprising it, and pulled its hood closer to his face.  
  
"TELL ME!!"  
  
The ghost began falling backwards, windmilling its arms in a somehow regal sort of way. Zim realized that jumping it might not have been a good idea, but could not get off. The ghost, and Zim, fell into a cloud of fog. As they hit the cloud, Zim lost his grip on the ghost's hood and fell away from it.  
  
The ground should have been right underneath the fog, but it wasn't. Zim fell, and fell, and fell, screaming the whole way down. He had fallen a large enough distance that he knew that any sort of landing would now be fatal. He screwed his eyes shut against the impact, took a deep breath, and screamed some more.  
  
There was a sudden...end of falling. (A/N: You know, like those dreams where you fall and wake up? You never land, but they're still scary.) Zim gasped and sat up. He was in his sleeping quarters. He looked around. He was still in his uniform (Another A/N: Did you notice he sleeps in it?), but it was unstained and unmarked by his nighttime journeys. The room looked unchanged, and there was no sign of any of his...visitors. The digital timepiece on the wall said it was 7:00 am.  
  
With a shaky voice, he said, "Computer...display my location for the past seven hours."  
  
The computer beeped to itself and replied, "Invader Zim has been in his sleeping quarters for the past seven hours."  
  
Zim sighed shakily. A dream. All of it. Just a dream. He relaxed against the cushions. Then he sat up. What about Gir? What if....?  
  
"Computer, display location of Gir for the past seven hours."  
  
The computer beeped to itself for a bit longer.  
  
"Gir not located."  
  
The computer had not even gotten halfway through the sentence before Zim was out the door.  
  
~ --  
  
"GIR! GIIIR! WHERE ARE YOU? GIIIIR!"  
  
Zim ran through the street, still only wearing his uniform, absently saying 'Happy Holidays' to people he bumped into. As he ran, he absently noticed a battered chihuahua who took one look at him, and then ran away yelping in terror. Zim paid no attention.  
  
He /thought/ this was the place he had seen Gir last night, but he wasn't sur- Wait! Zim spotted a small green and black patch through the freshly-fallen snow. He raced towards it.  
  
When he got there, he dug frantically, ignoring the pain caused by the melting snow. When he finished uncovering the robot, he gently lifted Gir into his arms. Shaking the still form slightly, he called out, "Gir? Can you hear me?"  
  
There was no answer.  
  
Zim lifted the hood of the costume. Gir's eyes were still and black. He lowered his head and held Gir tighter to his chest, and began making his way back to his base.  
  
~ --  
  
  
The eyes flickered.  
  
Zim held his breath, hoping the repairs had gone right. It had taken hours to clean the ice out of Gir's casing (Zim's hands were now bandaged, since the water burned even through the gloves), and longer to replace the necessary fuses, and longer still to remove the melted-then-frozen remains of some pudding that Gir had stored in one leg. Zim had just given the final shock, which should reactivate the robot, but he didn't know what else he could do now besides hope.  
  
The eyes flickered again. Red, black, blue, red, black....blue!   
  
Gir squinted and sat up. He shook his head, and then looked at Zim, a little confused.  
  
"Master?"  
  
Zim's face lit up, and for a second it looked like he was going to hug the little robot, but he quickly put on a professional, disinterested face.  
  
"Well. Gir. It's good to see you're working again. It took a lot of work to find where you had gotten to, AND I had to fix all the damage that you caused..."  
  
Gir's eyes began watering again.  
  
"M-Master, I'm so sorry. I was a bad S.I.R. You wanted me to go away. It's all my fault! I was so bad!"  
  
Gir started crying, but Zim, looking a whole lot less professional and disinterested, suddenly broke in.  
  
"No, Gir! You weren't bad. I was...just in a bad mood, I never meant any of it!"  
  
Gir stopped crying and looked at Zim, eyes wide. Zim, not noticing this, kept on going.  
  
"...uh...In fact, you even /helped/ me! I thought up a whole new plan to control these pathetic human weaklings! Subliminal messages in their televis-"  
  
As Zim was saying this, Gir face got happier and happier. Finally, he could stand it no longer. While Zim was still talking, Gir launched himself at Zim and attached himself to Zim's head, yelling, "YAAAAAAAY! MASTER'S NOT MAD AT ME ANYMOOOORE!"  
  
Zim, began running around, yelling at Gir, crashing into machinery, and acting as if nothing had happened in the last twenty-four hours, but, if you looked closely, you could see that he was smiling.  
  
-- ~ --  
  
The ghost of Christmas past materializes out of a fog covering the screen, gliding forward eerily. Slowly, a pointing skeletal hand reaches up to the hood, pulling it back, revealing.......Kat23a, wearing a big smile.  
  
Kat23a: Hi! Sorry I had to make a cameo, but when I asked Gaz to be the ghost of Christmas past she told me to stop bothering her, she was twelve levels away from winning, and when I asked Ms. Bitters, /she/ started telling me about how she used to love the holidays, until everything went horribly wrong, and then about how doomed I was, and....well, you know. I wasn't able to get away for hours. Yes, there were other characters I could have used (Keef actually /volunteered/, but he scares me even more than Gaz in a bad mood), but they didn't seem to have...you know, that spooky look. The chihuahua flat-out refused, and I couldn't get the robe to fit him anyway. I went in as a last resort. I also had to jury-rig the special effects. I got the skeletal hand *pulls out a pointing skeletal hand from the robe* from the biology room of the skool, and as for the fog and the gliding effects....well, you know how the Tallest always float and how Purple likes smoke machines?  
  
There's a crashing sound from offstage, and Kat23a whirls around to see what it is. When she does, he eyes widen and she starts floating away as fast as she can. On the other side of the screen, you can see Purple floating quickly after Kat23a, with Red riding piggyback so he won't touch the floor.  
  
Red: SHE'S the one who took my hoverbelt! GET HEEER!  
  
Purple: Give me back my smoke machine!  
  
As the two chase Kat23a offscreen, Gir pops up from below the screen and smiles at the camera, waving. Zim appears next to him (to complete the whole 'sappy ending' effect, you know. ^_^)  
  
Zim: Happy Holidays, everyone.  
  
Gir: And to all a good night! 


End file.
